My cup is empty, and I am more than ready to have it filled.
I am a returning El Salvador delegate, and even though I know what to expect from this entire trip, I still feel as though I am navigating uncharted territory. The individuals that I was blessed to interact with in El Salvador still hold a very prominent place in my heart. That being said, my spiritual cup is beginning to feel dry and I know that what I need is those people and that culture to help me feel whole again. I can smell El Salvador and I can feel the air and sun on my skin when I think about my previous trip. I can feel the love from all of the individuals who live there, and I am so eager to be surrounded by this love.
On my previous trip, I was very blind. I was blind to the culture and way of life, and I was blind to the love that I would experience. Now that I know what to expect, I feel that I can take less time taking in the “shock” of everything, and more time giving. I want to spend more time giving love and more time listening to everyone there. I feel extreme comfort in the thought of going back to El Salvador. However, even though I know what to expect and I am no longer blind, I am still in the dark. I am at a different place in my life this year compared to last, and I am worried about the emotional toll that this trip will take. It’s like getting hit with a bat. If you don’t know it’s coming, maybe you don’t really feel it and it will just knock you out, leaving you to recover. Now I am sitting in a chair watching this bat come straight for my face. This sounds incredibly morbid and terrible, but I can’t explain how excited I am. I can’t wait to see my family and to finally be submerged in this beautiful culture again. I can’t wait to live, at least for a while, in a place where loving one another is expected to be your top priority. I am also extremely excited to watch the same transformation that happened for me happen for our new team of delegates. I feel that we have an incredible team full of big-hearted, open-minded people. People who will absorb this beauty like a sponge and not reject it for its differences, or for the fact that there are negative aspects of the country. The truth is, danger and negativity are everywhere. Love is also everywhere, and love can also be spread everywhere. I want so badly for everyone to experience this language of love.
The trip to El Salvador can not get here fast enough. I am eager to experience the love, as well as the spiritual fullness. Though I like to think that I am very strong in my faith, being in this culture strengthens it, and my heart needs that. My cup is empty, and I am more than ready to have it filled.