I am currently on the flight back home (or to Houston) from El Salvador  I have a lot of mixed emotions right now. I didn’t cry when I was saying goodbye to my family I was staying with, but I cried laying in bed last night by myself thinking about leaving. Yes, it breaks my heart to leave those amazing people behind in that difficult place while I get to go back to such a privileged life in the States… but I can’t help but feel like the phrase “breaks my heart” doesn’t fully explain what I mean. Yeah, that definitely doesn’t explain what I mean.

It’s not fair that just because they were born into a third world country, or just because I was born in a first world country, they get so little and I get so much. Neither of us did absolutely anything to deserve what we have. And maybe because the family I stayed with, Delmi’s family, maybe because they were sooooo similar to my family, I feel so strongly about this. Or maybe because I realized how much of a reality that lifestyle is to so many people. Regardless, I think that I’m already having a hard time accepting the fact that there are good, loving, beautiful people out there who are living in such dangerous places and it’s completely not their fault. Why did they get that life and I get my life? Who would I be to see and live in that world, in that life for as long as I did, and come back home and do nothing? Who would I be to go back to my world and just continue to be wrapped up in my own life full of materialistic objects?

But at the same time, I have to accept that that IS my world… my life is in the United States viagra frankreich. My life is at a nice, 4-year university with a car and a smartphone and working showers and clean water and electricity and a trash system and there is no gang violence directly endangering me or any of my loved ones whatsoever. I live every day in this world. I just, after seeing El Espino, after LIVING in El Espino, what do I do from here on out? I don’t know… all I know is it can’t be nothing. There’s no way.